Mammoth compendious outpourings in the motherfucking house…

Despite a history stretching well over a decade, Ninja has never released a “greatest hits” style compilation. Smart alecs will say that it’s cos we’ve never had any hits, but if we start off on that footing proceedings will end in a slap to your face with a kid glove, a shivery meeting at dawn and a lead ball lodged firmly in your fathead cranium. A-ight? So, to put it another way, Ninja has always released compilations made up mainly of original tracks. And why change now?

Well, it all began with the Third Format, commonly held to be DVD. Head Ninja Peter Quicke was looking through old promo videos with an eye to releasing a bumper bag of audiovisual goodies when suddenly SMASH it dawned on him that there were so many Zen goodies hidden in the vault or ungathered together that the only sane response was to release a DOUBLE CD of original Ninja classics, a DOUBLE CD of classic Ninja remixes, and a single DVD with DOUBLE the capacity to a normalpathetic pissy DVD. Oh, and to put the originals and remixes on TREBLE vinyl each (that’s 12 sides, baby).

Ambitious? Oh yes. Worth it? Oh yey. Let’s start with the DVD, which has the kind of monstrous spec that, if it were a car, would have Jeremy Clarkson masturbating on national telly, his over-tight jeans round his ankles and two alabaster knees knocking uglily together. The DVD contains 35 videos plus a 15 minute video megamix from the lovely Hexstatic, plus a gallery of sleeves. In addition, you can watch the videos in the order intended, by artist, chronologically forward or backward (Memento eat yer fuckin’ heart out), or even randomly. You can probably fly to the moon on the back of it, but that’s what’s known in the trade as an Easter Egg. And, due to the monobrowed nature of commissioners on telly, most of them you will probably have never seen.

And then the CDs. Some of the older tracks have been lovingly remastered because, frankly, times change, sonics are meatier and, well, we’ve got more money these days. And anyway, it’s how John (Lennon) would have wanted it to sound… But beyond that, it’s just a tub-thumping combination of BIG TOONZ and LOST CLASSIX. In the first category fall such gems as Scruff’s “Get A Move On,” (which, allegedly, Madonna plays whenever she’s shooting pheasant) and the Cinematic Orchestra’s “All That You Give” and in the latter, the utterly blinding “Dark Lady” by DJ Food (you’ll remember it when you hear it) and 9 Lazy 9’s “Black Jesus”. It really is a succession of blinding tunes which (getting all serious, for a mo) shows the breadth of imagination, the humour and the sheer ear for good music that’s gone into the label over the last XII years…

And that’s before you even get to the remixes. Some people (this person) would argue that Squarepusher’s mix of “Scratch Yer Head” by DJ Food is amongst the best music he’s ever made. But even if you disagree with that it’s hard to argue with a selection of remixes from the likes of Cornelius, Fourtet, Asley Beedle, Manitoba, Dr Rockit (Herbert), Domu, Luke Vibert, Fredric Galliano and the man many people at Ninja consider to be our most talented retiring talent, PC of DJ Food. Once again, it’s unlikely that you’ll know all of these tracks, but once you’ve heard them you’ll think you should.

And that’s it really – no flim flam, no ‘angle’ – just a huge shedload of great music. Which is Ninja, really, when you think about it.